When Toddlers Attack
by Mazylover
Summary: Inuyasha and Sesshoamru are forced to watch little kids. What chaos will erupt? Will they survive it? Were there really French people in the American Revolution? Read and find out! Warning:Slight occness and a lot of randomness COMPLETE!
1. What Women Will Make You Do

Mazylover: This is just a fic my friend gave me an idea for. I do NOT own Inuyasha or  
any of it's characters.

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"I TO WHAT?!" Inuyasha yelled staring at Kagome in disbelief. 

"Yes, you have to," Kagome replied.  
  
"BUT I-I-"

"You will! It's time you started paying for you're own ramen. Besides you need money to pay off that car loan!"

"I don't _have_ a car!"

"You do now!"

"BUT I-I WON'T! FEH!!"

"SIT!!!! You will and that's final!" "Fine..." murmured Inuyasha picking his head out of the ground.

**9696969696996969696969696969696**

Sesshomaru sighed. He wondered how on earth Rin had convinced him to do this. Darn her persuasive begging. He continued walking untill he came to the dreaded place. A place where no one would go to willing. A place so horrible people fled from it as soon a possible. A place where- ouch! Sesshomaru looked onward ready to decapitate anyone who dare bump into him. He found- nobody? His eyes trailed down to find a blond pig-tailed girl not much older than three or four. "You look funny mister," she said starring wide-eyed at him. The childs aparent mother took one horrified look at him (and his seemingly odd features) and quickly ushered her child through the door into the building. Sesshomaru's nose twitched as her caught that familiar scent. He quickly turned to his side to see his younger half-brother.

"Inuyasha."

"Sesshomaru."

"What are you doing here?" they asked in unison.

"Come to hand over tetsusaiga?" (Gomen Nasai! I don't have any feferrances to check my spelling)

"No. Come to get you're but kicked?"

"No. So.... what are you really doing here?"

"Kagome's forcing me to."

"Stupid hanyou. Being manipulated a human girl."

"Well then what are you doing here."

"Rin-"

"That human girl? Wait a minute, you just called me stupid for being forced by Kagome, but you yourself are being manipulated a teenager?!" (AN: Yeah in this fic it's ten years past. Kagome and Inuyasha are married and Rin is 17)

"I wasn't-"

"Sesshomaru's a suckup. Sesshomaru's a suckup..."

"WHY YOU LITTLE-" Sesshomaru was about to pull out his sword untill he was interuppted by a middle-aged woman wearing a tan apron with the words 'Happy Tots Day Care' on it. "Excuse me but are you the two volunteers Sesshomaru and Inuyasha?" She asked looking quite exasperated. They both nodded dumbly. "Oh thank heavens! Ok here," She said throwing them both aprons. "Now go on inside. Extra diapers are behin the front desk. And the bathrooom's down the first hall on your left. Ta-ta!" With that she was gone. Inuaysha and Sesshomaru looked at each other and groaned. They had been left to do one of the most dreaded tasks- takeing care of toddlers.

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Mazylover: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. If this wasn't very funny don't worry the story gets funnier (and more random) latter on. 


	2. POKE IT!

Mazylover: Ok I think this chapter will erupt in complete and utter randomness. That is my warning. Ok I don't own Inuyasha or Sesshomaru, or Kagome and Rin, (even thought they were barely mentioned) I do however own 'Happy Tots Day Care' cuz I made it up off the top of my head. okay- NOW READ!!!

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"Look! It's a kitty person!" Yelled a little boy as he started tugging on Inuaysha's ears. An anime vein apeared on his head as he clentched his fist. "I'm not a cat." "But you looks like a kitty. So you gots to be kitty!" (no that's not a grammer error. That's how some toddlers I know talk.) "Listen you little runt, I'm not cat. So shut your yap you puny little good for nothing-" 

"Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty" Inuyasha looked around to find a few children chanting the horid word over and over. _'Oh great Kami. I should've taken Sesshomaru's advise and dump Kagome. WAIT?! Did I just say I should have taken advise from Sesshomaru? I really-'_

"FUNNY MAN!" Inuyasha looked up his face turning red with four anime veins. _'Why_ _does every existing toddler decide it's good to-'_ "LOOK IT'S THE FUNNY MAN!" _'...interupt me....'_

Sesshomaru looked down at the evil little pig-tailed girl from before. She was currently staring at him with great interest. "FUNNY MAN!" She turned to what looked like a pair of siblings. A boy and girl both with brown hair and green eyes. Both were glaring evily at the opposite. The girl began stepping on the boy's foot and the boy yelled things such as 'Stupid' and 'Meanie'. Yes they were definatly brother and sister. "Corrie! Lori!" Both snapped their heads towards the blond pig-tailed girl. She drew in a deep breath, "LOOK IT'S THE FUNNY MAN" She exclaimed pointing to Sesshomaru. "Let's poke him!' The two siblings cried in unison. Soon Sesshomaru had a trio of children poking him, _'Ugg I wish these stupid little creations would get off me,'_ Sesshomaru thought to himself.

Inuyasha, meanwhile, was having a bit 'fun' of his own. All the younger toddlers (2 and 3 year olds) had began dancing around him singing, "Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!" Inuaysha turned to look at Sesshomaru and was thrown into fits of histarical laughter. Sesshomaru, the demon prince, was having his hair pulled, legs poked, and mouth formed into odd positions by three children. Sesshomaru looked up at the sudden burst of laughter and glared at the histarical Inuyasha. The rest of the children starred at him and then began laughing also. As Inuyasha finally calmed down he noticed the laughing children before him. "Whoa, what happened to them?" He asked cluelessly. "You," Sesshomaru growled, "You laughed..."

**-=-= Five Minutes Later =-=-**

Inuaysha's eyes seemed to be hollow. Most of the children were still laughing except for the three who had been standing next to Sesshomaru which had resumed poking him.

"Make them Shut UP!" Sesshomaru said venomessly.

"How about you!"

"Why me? It's you're fault!"

"Come on! We know who's fault it really is! Mr. 'I Can't Defend Myself Against Three Seven Year Olds!"

"Oh really! I least I can prove I'm not a _kitty_!"

"Why you!" With that Inuyasha took out his Tetsusuaiga. Sesshomaru had also taken out Tojikin (am I spelling that rite? Gomen Nasai!)

"SHINEY!" Called the pig-tailed girl turning her attention from Sesshomaru towards the swords. The twins looked at it a moment the yelled in unison "POKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Inuyahsa sweat-dropped as the three children began to poke the swords. The other kids stopped laughing the moment the two twins finished thier declaration of pokiness. Withing fifteen seconds a huge mass of kids were swarming Inuyasha and Sesshomaru fighting so they could poke the pointly objects.

Inuyasha & Sesshoamaru: O-O;;;

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Mazylover: I told you this would be random. i will probably have 2 more chapters. Hope you liked this. 

Sesshomaru: It was stupid and pointless.

Mazylover: (glare) Reveiw or I'll have Lori and Corrie poke you MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH...


	3. Dreaming Of Sugar And Wars

Mazylover: I don't own Inuyasha or Sesshomaru. I do own Lori Corrie and the other girl which I have given a name- Alysa. This chapter should be the funniest out of them all- for it is the last. :(

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Sesshomaru sighed. Never again would he let Rin's manipulativly cute whinning persuade him into something like this ever again. They had finally gotten the small children to take a nap. Good Lord- how on earth did people put up with this?! Inuyasha sat down- or dropped from lack of energy, you deside- onto one of the green padded mats and let out a groan.  
  
"What idiotic bafoon thought it would be a good idea to enclose such a vast amount of children into a small structure such as this evil place?" He said out loud to no one in particullar.  
  
"I didn't know you're vocabulary reached that far, baby brother," Sesshomaru taunted emotionlessly.  
  
"Feh," was all he got in return. Sesshomaru sat down on a ledge. All was still and calm-or so they thought..  
  
"SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Came a loud high-piched voice. Sesshomaru slightly cringed on how it affected his sensitive ears, along with Inuyasha. A small child waddles into the room. It was that stupid blonde girl Alysa. She stoped and lookd at Inuyasha. The two continue starring at each other for a long time untill... "POOOOOOOOOKE!" Inuyasha blinked at this and turned to see the two twins running around. Lori and Cori were running around in circles chasing a little boy. "Get back here, Andrew!" They called after him. He was fast considering the stubby little legs he had. He wore a red tee-shirt and a diaper. A bottle in his right hand and a grenade in his left..... _'A GRENADE?! What the heck?! Since when do two-year-olds carry around grenades?'_ Inuyasha thought frantically.  
  
But his attention was quickly taken from the small little boy to the entrace for the nap-time room. Many babies were walking towards him and Sesshomaru- well they were accutually crawling. They seemed to be in four lines eight. Two of them had Playskool drums and were hitting them to no particular beat. In the back was the little boy with the grenade. _'Andrew,'_ Inuyasha thought recalling the little boys name. He seemed to have escape the clutches of Lori and Corrie-which Inuyasha didn't think was possible- and was now leading all the small babies. He was the only one out them who could walk. The weirdest part was- they were all wearing red. Alysa looked at them and began running around the room yelling,** "The Bwitis are coming! The Bwitis are coming!!"** Inuyasha's eyes became wider- if possible- as the older children lined up. They were older and all walking but there were fewer of them, only five rows of five. In the front of the odd rows (1,3,5) were Lori, then Corrie, then Alysa. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha just stood in the center looking back and forth between the sides.  
  
"Sesshomaru...."  
  
"Hmm?" Sesshomaru mumbled not bothering to look at his half-brother  
  
"Step away... now," Inuyasha murrmured.  
  
"Why should I?"  
  
"Have it your way..." With that Inuasyha slowly stepped away just as Corrie yelled "Charge!" Sesshomaru was engulfed in a fury of small children ranging in all ages. INuyasha used all his might to stiffle a laugh as he saw Sesshomaru's hand sticking up in the air while the rest of him was under the pile of children. He could not help it though when a very little child- most likely one of the 'Bwitis' latched onto Sesshomaru's wrist and began gnawing on it. Inuaysha broke into hysterics at this sight.  
  
Sesshomaru, however found it less amusing. It wasn't very proper to have someone sucking on one's wrist- one's newly grown wrist at that. He had had enough when the children began tugging back and forth on him, trying to get him over to thier side. Finally his head stuck up out of the croud and he was able to get a breath. He looked over to his half-brother, who had calmed his fit of laughter and just glare.  
  
"**_That _**is why you should have stepped back," Inuaysha said, impassive now.  
  
"Grrr. Hn, whatever. Just tell me how to get them off me," Sesshomaru snapped back.  
  
"Well, you could just stay there until the war is over," Inuyasha offered a smirk placed firmly on his face.  
  
"And how long would that take?" Sesshomaru half snapped, half questioned.  
  
"If it takes after the accutual war, not long at all. Only, like, ofur years," said with a smug look.  
  
"Grrrr. DIE NOW VEARMON!!!" Sesshomaru shouted not sure weather it was directed towards his filthy half-brother or the tiny menaces they were watchin after. HE jumoed out of the pit of children the hilt of his sword at hand. He stoos next to Inuaysha ready to disimbody the next person who moved, and leave everyone else to a gruesome, bloody death. (ML: Hehe... I kind got carried away n.n''')  
  
**"It's the French!!!!"** Lori called pointing at Sesshomaru and Inuyasha.  
  
"The Fwench were in the Amewican Evowution (American Revolution)?" Alysa asked, scratching her head in confusion.  
  
"I thought we were doing the war of 1812," Said Corrie, confused also.  
  
Silence....  
  
"GET THEM!!!" The strange trio called.  
  
"You just **_had _**to get me involved in this, huh?" Inuyasha said right as he was bombarded with children, along with Sesshomaru. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were had their faces poked, ears streached, heads battered, and hair tugged at. They finally fought thier way through the crowd of the older kids but were shocked at the scene that laid before them when they came free.  
  
The smaller tots were all in lines, the one with the grenade still in the center of the last row. But that wasn't the wierd part. No, the weird part was they all had diapers in hand, poised like a sling-shot. Oh and that smell. What was that putrid scent. "CANNON'S AHOY!" Yelled Andrew. All of the sudden the toddlers let go of the ends of the diapers, making it look like they where shooting arrows. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru soon realized what the odar was as their faces were covered in poop. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru mumbled curses trying to wipe the burning matter out of thier eyes and off their faces. Inuyasha's eyes opened just in time to see Andrew advance from he center of the back onwards so that he was only a few feet in front of Inuyasha. He pulled out the small string to the grenade and hurled it towards Inuyasha. It let out a few puffs of smoke as it was about to explode on contact....  
  
......"AHHHH" Inuaysha sat up strait in his warm bed awaking his partner. Kagome looked at him and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Inuyasha looked tramatized. Kagome began to speak, "It's all right Inuyasha. It was just a bad dream. I had a scary one myself. I was being chased by flying pumpkins... who were married to acorns." Inuaysha just nodded blankly. She would never know the terror of his dream.  
  
"Oh, that reminds me. I don't know why it does, but it does. It reminds me that I signed you up for a job at this wonderful new place Inuyasha..."  
**  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"**

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Well I thought that was quite funny. Alas, this is the end of my little fic but I had fun writing it. (Could you tell I was on a sugar high?) n.n  
  
Okay well please reveiw and tell me what you thought of it. It's my first comedy thing so I need to know if people liked it and if I should make more. Ja Ne!!! : )  



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